Spy Away Home (The Never Say Spy Series Book 10) Read online

Something about his intent gaze set off my alarm bells. Dammit, Brock had watched my surveillance records. Had he blabbed about Kane’s visit just to see if he could get me in trouble? If he had, Rawling would know Kane had been over. And that he’d stomped out later.

  Shit.

  “John dropped over to help me with my doors,” I added after a slightly-too-long pause. “It was nice to have the help.”

  “How nice,” Rawling said agreeably. “I understand Kane transferred off your project at the beginning of the year, citing personal involvement. How are you handling that now that you’re working together again?”

  My defensive hackles sprang to attention. “Fine.”

  Damn, if he’d watched the surveillance footage, he’d know something sure as hell hadn’t been fine when Kane had left my place on Saturday night.

  Fighting back the burning desire to tell him it was none of his business, I rearranged my nice, open, relaxed posture and added, “We had a bit of a disagreement over the weekend, but we’re good enough friends that it wasn’t a big deal. We enjoy working together when we’re on desk jobs here at Sirius; it’s just that John didn’t feel comfortable being placed in an active-duty scenario with me.”

  “And how do you feel about that?”

  I feel like it’s none of your damn business, buddy.

  I smiled. “I think it was a good decision.”

  Rawling nodded his agreeable little nod and smiled his agreeable little smile. “It’s nice when you can feel in accord like that. So you don’t foresee any difficulties now that Kane is on administrative duty and you’ll be working together regularly?”

  “No, I don’t. I’m glad he’ll be here and that you’ll be available to help him,” I said in a burst of honesty that surprised me. “I’m worried about him.”

  “That’s understandable, but try not to upset yourself. I’m sure he’ll make a complete recovery.” His kind gaze made me suppress an urge to squirm. “And certainly if you have any concerns or if you want to talk about what you’re going through, separately or together, my door is always open.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered.

  “And speaking of what you’re going through, how did you sleep this weekend?” he inquired solicitously.

  Shit, was that a dig? Had Brock said something about me sleeping at Eddy’s? Or, no, dammit, if Rawling had watched the surveillance footage he’d know I hadn’t been sleeping in my house.

  I cranked on a self-deprecating smile and lied my ass off. “Actually, pretty well. It’s a little silly, but I love my garage so much I often sleep out there, particularly in the summer when it’s hot in the house. I was doing some work out there this weekend, and I just lay down on the bed for a minute and when I woke up it was morning.”

  “Oh, that’s nice to hear. I’m glad you’re sleeping well and enjoying your hobbies.”

  He did look glad. He seemed like such a nice man. It was really too bad I hated him just now.

  “Did you do anything else on the weekend?” he added.

  “Uh… not really…”

  What the hell was he fishing for?

  Realization dawned. Brock again. The fictitious drinking problem.

  With a supreme effort I managed not to roll my eyes back far enough to inspect my own brain.

  “Jill and I went out for drinks Friday night,” I offered, holding onto my sane, normal smile for all I was worth. “I really enjoyed the chance to get to know her. It’s great to spend time with co-workers outside the office.”

  Jesus, I was going to gag on my own sweetness.

  “Yes, it was nice to see you two getting along so well,” he agreed.

  Wait, what?

  Oh shit, now I remembered. He’d been in Blue Eddy’s Friday night. Goddamn small towns. Now that he mentioned it, I did vaguely recall giving him a cheery-beery wave across the bar where he’d been sipping a glass of white wine.

  When had he left? How much had he seen?

  Dammit, I couldn’t remember.

  “Yes, it was nice to see you there, too,” I said, holding onto my smile for all I was worth. “I love Eddy’s. He’s such a nice guy, and the food and music are always so good.”

  “Yes, that’s true.” Dr. Rawling gave me one of his kind smiles. “You looked as though you were enjoying yourself.”

  Okay, fine. He was going to get to it sooner or later anyway, so I might as well take the offensive.

  “I was.” I twisted my lips in what I hoped was a disarmingly rueful smile. “A little too much, actually. The evening kind of got away on me.”

  He nodded understandingly. “How do you feel about that?”

  I managed not to snap, ‘I feel like I really hate that question’.

  “A little silly,” I said instead. “I usually don’t have more than a drink or two.” I tried not to look as though I was making a point in my defense. “In fact, I think other than Friday night I’ve only had two beers in the last four months. But it was fun with Jill, even though it’s not something I’d do often.”

  “Well, that’s good to hear.” Dr. Rawling awarded me a benevolent smile. “Self-medicating with alcohol isn’t a good habit to get into.”

  “No, I wouldn’t do that,” I lied, trying not to think about how much I really, really wanted a fucking beer right now.

  My desire for a drink increased exponentially over the next forty minutes while Dr. Rawling prodded me obliquely about everything from Brock’s sabotage to my sleeping habits.

  At last I stumbled out, holding onto my smile with the last of my willpower and managing to conceal my relief at our arrangement for another session in a week’s time.

  A whole week. Thank God. Maybe by then we’d have found out who was behind Drake Mallard’s attack, and the threat of the safe house would be eliminated.

  Or I’d be dead…

  I sighed and trudged back to my office.

  After another fruitless brainstorming session with the team, I slumped on the couch and surveyed the dispirited expressions that surrounded me.

  Jack sighed and rose, tucking her instrument case under her arm. “I can’t believe it’s four-thirty already.” She patted Spider’s shoulder on her way to the door. “Don’t worry, Spider, tomorrow’s another day.”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Thanks. Have a good evening.” He stood slowly as though the weight of the world rested on his skinny shoulders.

  Well, maybe not the world. One woman’s life. More weight than anyone should have to bear.

  “See you tomorrow,” he said, and shuffled out.

  Kane rose, too. “I’m going to spend a half-hour skimming the current administrative caseload to see where I can do the most good when I’m not needed on Tammy’s project, and then I’m going to get supper at Blue Eddy’s. Do you want to come?”

  “Sure,” I said absently, still trying to figure out a third alternative for Tammy in what ultimately came down to an either/or decision.

  “I’ll come and get you at five, then,” Kane said.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  After he left, I sat staring at the ceiling for another quarter of an hour. It offered no useful options, and at last I sighed and trailed over to my desk to check my email.

  Most of it was ordinary internal correspondence and I dealt with it with half my attention, but a meeting request summoned me to an interview with an Ursula Ritter on Wednesday at ten AM. Subject: Peer review of Charles Stemp. I had just accepted it with my fingers crossed for luck when Kane leaned into the doorway.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

  “Uh?” I blinked stupidly at him.

  “Go. For supper. To Blue Eddy’s. It’s five o’clock.”

  “Oh. Uh…”

  Shit, what had I been thinking, accepting his invitation? Dinner at Fiorenza’s last night, lunch together today, then dinner again tonight? Bad idea. That’s how expectations get created.

  Brock drifted by in the corridor behind Kane, his gaze darting between Kane and me while his eyes n
arrowed in speculation. Then he flashed a nasty smile, curling his left hand into a tunnel and plunging his right forefinger repeatedly into it in a lewd gesture that left no doubt about his meaning.

  I smiled pleasantly and flipped him my middle finger.

  Kane’s brows snapped together, but his mouth quirked at the corner. “If you don’t want to go for dinner, just say so. Flipping me off seems a little over the top.”

  Brock smirked and hurried away, and I laughed. “Sorry, that was for Brock, not you.”

  Kane spun to survey the empty hallway before turning back to me, grinning. “Oh, sure, that’s what they all say.” He sobered. “Do you need a bit more time? If you’re in the middle of something we can go later.”

  “Uh, no. That’s okay…”

  Damn Brock. This would be just more grist for his sordid rumour mill.

  But, hell, Kane and I both had to eat. I was starving, I didn’t feel like cooking, and I especially didn’t feel like cooking while keeping one hand on my gun. It had been such a relief to drink with Jill on Friday night, knowing she was armed and capable of taking care of both of us if necessary. I’d feel even safer with Kane.

  And there had been too damn little safety in my life lately.

  I smiled and stood. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  Chapter 24

  Somehow, leaving the building at the end of the day seemed more dangerous than leaving it at lunch. The parking lot was almost deserted, and only a few pedestrians strolled by.

  I slid hurriedly into the driver’s seat of my car, wishing I had accepted Kane’s offer to drive us both over to Blue Eddy’s in his vehicle.

  It did make more sense for us to go to the bar separately, though. He’d go home to his house afterward; I’d go to mine. No need to double back here first.

  But it would have been so easy to get in his passenger seat and hand my worries over to him…

  “Don’t start,” I muttered, and put the car in gear.

  The short drive to Blue Eddy’s seemed longer than usual. Following Kane’s shiny black SUV, I checked my rear-view mirror frequently but saw nothing I could identify as a tail. Then again, I couldn’t say for sure we didn’t have a tail. Ninety percent of the small-town traffic travelled the main streets between Sirius and Blue Eddy’s. I grimaced and checked my mirror again.

  When Kane drove around the block before pulling into Eddy’s parking lot I followed, surveying rooftops and alleyways and feeling relieved that I wasn’t the only paranoid freak.

  We met at the door and I relaxed as I stepped into the comforting familiarity of the bar with Kane’s reassuring presence behind me.

  My relaxation was short-lived.

  “Aydan! Big John!” Lola’s larger-than-life voice boomed out from several tables pulled together to accommodate a group I identified with a sinking heart as the Silverside and Area Chamber of Commerce members.

  “Aw, shit,” I muttered.

  Lola stood and hurried toward us, her small figure barely visible until she emerged from behind the seated group. When she did, I hid a smile.

  Obviously playing the role of upstanding citizen and committee member, she was attired in a conservative-for-her magenta leather sheath dress with a daring slit up the front of the skirt and a plunging neckline. Matching magenta ankle boots adorned with glittering chains finished the outfit, and her silver hair was razor-cut in a dramatic asymmetrical ‘do accented with a shocking pink streak.

  “Perfect timing!” she exclaimed, latching onto Kane’s arm with one hand and mine with the other. “Come and join us!”

  Kane looked momentarily taken aback, then smiled. “Right, the Spring Thing. I need to participate for Kane Consulting. Come on, Aydan, let’s sign up to help with the Little Clowns Bicycle Rally. They always need extra volunteers for that.”

  I started to say ‘are you nuts’, but a glance at Kane’s smile made me choke back the words. The shadows had momentarily lifted from his eyes, and I suddenly realized how healing it would be for him to be surrounded by happy children.

  I put on a smile of my own and made the only excuse I could. “You go ahead, John. I promised Lola I’d ride on the Up & Coming float.”

  “Right on, honey!” Lola crowed. “It’ll be a blast, you’ll see!”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” I mumbled, but not too loudly.

  At the communal table we duly committed to our roles and excused ourselves as soon as we could.

  Later, tucked behind the shield of my favourite table with my back to the wall, I swallowed the last bite of my Caesar salad and leaned back. Beside me, Kane finished off his burger before doing the same, rocking his chair onto its back legs. Our conversation had revolved around the Spring Thing, but now Kane turned to me with a serious expression that made my belly tighten.

  “So tell me about this thing with Brock,” he said.

  Safe topic. I let out the breath I’d been holding.

  “It’s probably my fault,” I said gloomily. “He startled me with some loud music and I told him next time I’d turn off his stereo with a sledgehammer. He got snippy so I grabbed him by his big scarf and suggested I’d gotten into the habit of killing guys lately so I’d be happy to oblige if he wanted to be next. It escalated from there.”

  “Escalated how, exactly?” Kane inquired cautiously.

  “He ran and tattled to Stemp, Stemp ripped a strip off both of us, and now it’s Brock’s mission to make my life as miserable as he’s making everybody else’s.”

  “Ah.” A smile tugged at the corner of Kane’s mouth, activating the delicious laugh lines around his eyes. “So you didn’t ‘try’ to kill him like he said.”

  “Oh, trust me, if I’d tried, Sirius would have one less analyst right now.”

  Kane’s smile turned into a laugh. “No doubt. You know, there’s something about Brock that gets on my last nerve. I had to walk away this morning or I would have wiped that smirk off his face onto the carpet.”

  I laughed, too. “I think we need to start a Tyler Brock anti-fan club. Even Spider is ready to throttle him.”

  “Yes…” Kane’s smile faded. “But you probably shouldn’t antagonize him any more than necessary. I didn’t like the sound of those threats he made.”

  “Pshaw.” I waved a contemptuous hand. “He’s just an insecure little worm with entitlement issues.”

  “Maybe so, but with his security clearance he could do a lot of damage if he was so inclined.”

  I blew out a sigh. “Yeah, I know. You’re right. I shouldn’t let him get to me but he’s just… on top of everything else right now, he’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I sipped some of my water, not looking at him. “I think we’re all kind of clinging to the ragged edge. Spider’s really wound up about Tammy, Jack is beside herself worrying that Dermott will take over from Stemp…”

  “Yes, and you’re dodging assassins. There’s a lot of stress…” Kane hesitated and I turned to face him. “Aydan…” he began.

  Something in his expression set off all my alarm bells. Stomach knotting, I clutched my water glass as if it could save me.

  “I wanted to talk to you about last Saturday night,” Kane said.

  “You promised we wouldn’t have to talk about it again.” I’d intended the words to sound teasing but they came out fearful and defensive instead.

  Hurt flashed across his face, but his voice stayed even. “I didn’t mean it to be an ultimatum that closed off any chance for discussion. I’ll always be ready to listen, especially if we have a misunderstanding as fundamental as this obviously was. As I said, I didn’t realize our physical relationship was that important to you.”

  I nearly blurted, ‘It’s the only thing I want from you’. Some benevolent deity must have been hovering nearby to intervene, though, because the words never left my lips.

  Instead, I stared at Kane, shocked and sickened by what I’d almost said.

  Cold, selfish bitch.

  But, dammit, I’d
told him that from the start. His friendship meant more to me than I cared to admit, but we had agreed friendship was all it would be. Well, okay, friendship with benefits, but that was all. Hellhound was right. It wasn’t my fault if Kane changed his mind.

  That didn’t make me feel any better.

  For God’s sake, set the poor man free so he can go and find the love he deserves.

  Resolve steadied my voice, and I reached over to squeeze his hand. “It’s okay, John, it really isn’t that big a deal. Like I said, I’m on edge right now and I overreacted. I’m glad you’re going for what you truly want. You’re doing the right thing.”

  His troubled grey gaze searched my face. “So you’re not hurt?”

  “Of course not. I want what’s best for you. Always will.” I rose. “I need to get going. I’ve got a couple of projects calling my name at home. Dinner’s on me tonight; I’ll pay for it at the bar on my way out.”

  He stood, too, frowning down at me. “You’re upset.”

  Drawing on long years of miserable practice, I smoothed my face and voice into neutrality and gave him a smile. “No, of course not. I just have to get going.”

  “At least let me get the bill.”

  “Are you kidding? After that fabulous meal you cooked the other night? I owe you big time. This is my treat.” I reached up to kiss him on the cheek and turned away.

  He didn’t follow me.

  At the bar, I proffered my credit card and leaned on the counter while Eddy rang the transaction through. Glancing around to be sure I wouldn’t be overheard, I leaned closer.

  “Hey, Eddy, I need to give you the heads-up on something.”

  He looked up, his gaze sharpening. “What is it?”

  “I just wanted to warn you about a rumour that might be floating around about, um…” I hesitated, heat rising in my face. “You know the guy you thought was my nephew?”

  Eddy nodded and I went on, “He’s got a bit of a hate on for me at the moment and he threatened to tell your girlfriend that you and I are having an affair. You should mention it to her so she doesn’t get blindsided if she hears it.”

  Eddy frowned. “What girlfriend? I’m not seeing anybody right now.”